How to get out of a toxic relationship?
How to get out of a toxic relationship? Breaking off a toxic relationship can be difficult, but it will be absolutely worth it once you are out of the gaslighting situation.
A toxic relationship makes you feel drained, unsupported, threatened, misunderstood, demeaned, attacked, or even isolated. Being in these kinds of relationships can be physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting.
Unhealthy relations aren't just limited to romance; toxic people can also be family members, co-workers, and friends.
These relationships might not always be abusive, but it sure is harmful and unhealthy. Some signs, such as dishonesty, lack of support, emotional abuse, and control, are clearly evident. Whereas some signs, such as gaslighting, narcissism, and a hostile atmosphere, are not so clear at the beginning.
Leaving a toxic person is much more complicated than people on the outside might think. Sometimes it involves factors such as children, families, finances, fear, codependency, and emotions.
Here are eight steps on how to leave a toxic relationship.
1. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Having positive people who want the best for you is important when it comes to leaving toxic relationships.
Surround yourself with individuals who make you happy, and help you concentrate on the good parts of life. It would help if you had people in life who would empower, support, motivate, and appreciate you.
Building a support system is essential as it will give you courage and a concept of life outside of unhealthy relationships. Having one person could be enough for emotional support and comfort.
They may help take care of the chores, and tasks, scheduling appointments and meals through the uncomfortable transition. These supportive friends and family will support you while searching for a new place to live or help you get a job.
2. Stay Firm About The Decision To Leave
When you decide to leave the toxic relationship, you have to acknowledge, accept, and let go of your feelings. Breakups and separations are hard, especially when you are so emotionally invested in a relationship.
Leaving a relationship you built together is hard, but knowing it is no longer a safe space is essential. Recognize that person is no longer the one for you as the right one would not be unhealthy for you.
There will come times when you will be tempted to get back with your ex, but you got to be firm. Do not give your ex any false hopes that you guys might end up getting back together.
You might feel disappointed and suffer emotional pain for a while, but getting back together with that toxic ex will again bring a series of destructive and unhealthy patterns in your life.
Stay firm about your decision to leave the toxic relationship, and do not give in no matter what.
3. Set Goals To Be Independent
Breaking up from a toxic relationship should be a motivation to reclaim and be the best version of yourself.
Set goals that will help you become an independent person after the breakup. Keep a journal about your feelings, brainstorm ideas, and set some plans for yourself. Make sure to add both easy and difficult ones so that you pursue them with confidence.
The goals should be attainable so that you are left motivated to accomplish them. The goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bounded). SMART goals are going to help you focus on the things you actually want to achieve.
It will help you take the proper steps to become more independent. Financial independence is significant when it comes to being self-reliant.
For example: If you do not have a way to support yourself after the breakup, start navigating. Build a career, get some training, go on a job hunt, start saving money, etc.
4. Open Up To Loved Ones
Talk to people who understand you the most because you do not have to be alone in this.
Communicate with them if your partner does not make you feel safe, if your partner shows signs of abuse, the lack of respect in the relationship, the status of your emotional well-being, and if you are endangered or isolated.
If the relationship is threatening or you feel unsafe, you can always contact the local authorities or helplines.
Your family and friends will be a great help as they can offer emotional support. They can also help you move out of the house or lend you their couch for a couple of days until you find a house.
Finding someone in your close circle to open up to can help you come out of this unhealthy and challenging time. Although they cannot make you feel well, whole, and ready, they will love, support, and choose wellness for you.
Your loved ones are never going to judge you, but rather, be mindful of your self-esteem, empower and encourage you to stay strong, and offer emotional support.
5. Seek Help From A Therapist
Therapists can help identify what kind of help you need and make a safety plan with access to resources for further support. They provide a safe space to heal as they understand that toxic relationships destroy your self-esteem.
A mental health therapist is well-equipped to help you professionally process your grief and pain. Your friends and family might listen to you, but a professional therapist will advise you, harness your energy, and direct it into the best path for moving ahead.
They are going to help you sort through the ending of the toxic relationship and help you cope with difficult emotions. Mental health professionals can counsel and guide you to treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy and journaling, which will help you heal.
Mental health professionals are available both in-person and online if location is a barrier.
6. Build A Safety Net
Building a safety net is essential before leaving a toxic partner. It would help if you planned how to handle the transition.
This process has to be well planned and well thought out, as it cannot be carried out haphazardly.
Some of the things to think of includes the following:
- If you live with your partner, where will you stay after getting out of the relationship?
- What possessions are you going to take with you, and what are you leaving?
- If you share bank accounts, money, or phone plans, how are you dealing with it?
- Make sure not to spend much money to avoid new financial expenditures such as buying a new car or with your partner.
- Research the laws in your state or country about unmarried relationship breakups.
- Protect your assets, such as family heirlooms, jewelry, etc.
- If you own property together, make sure to consult a lawyer.
7. Cut Off Contact
Cut off all contact with the ex once you guys break up, as staying in touch with them will open the chances of getting back together.
Block your ex's number and delete all the possible ways of contact. Holding on to their phone numbers can prevent you from moving on and living past the toxic relationship.
Unfriend your partner on Facebook, and unfollow them on Twitter and Instagram as well. Staying "friends" with the ex, even on social media, can leave doors open to engaging with the ex, as per Bustle.
You both can see each other's posts, tweets, or pictures while following each other on social media. Things can escalate quickly, from liking each other's pictures to posting comments and back to texting.
Going no-contact with your ex could be a form of self-care as, in some situations, the only way to safeguard yourself is to quit associating with toxic people. Distancing yourself from someone that has physically or emotionally hurt you is important for moving on.
8. Take Care of Yourself
Being part of a toxic relationship can harm your mental health and self-esteem. Make sure to take care of yourself, as leaving the relationship can be distressing and painful.
Make sure your mental health and physical health are fine before the breakup occurs. It will be easier for you to leave the toxic partner when you are in a good space mentally and physically.
After the breakup, take that trip you always wanted to go on. Work on a pet project or your own business and take time for yourself.
Pamper yourself with some new clothes or a trip to the beauty salon. To help recover from an unhealthy relationship, find time for your favorite hobbies and activities.
Do not jump into another relationship immediately should be avoided as they are unhealthy. You need to work on yourself and take the necessary time before getting back into the dating market.